Boozy Whipped Cream – Good Idea, Bad Results

First a disclaimer: I bought a can of CREAM, the alcohol infused whipped cream, for two reasons: one, because my wife wanted to try it; and two, because I too was also a little curious.  (There, I’ve admitted it.)  While reason number one was the primary basis for the purchase, I will concede she made a convincing argument – at best I would have a new topping to put on desserts or, during wintertime, a Hot Toddy.  At worst I would have a can of awful whipped cream.  And how awful could it really be?

So along with a bottle of Talisker 10 year old Scotch – old reliable – and a bottle of John L. Sullivan Irish Whiskey, we bought a can of vanilla flavored alcohol infused (30 proof) whipped cream.  Sesame Street’s “One of These Things” played in my head while we waited to pay.

Later that evening we opened the can and each tried some, with a gentleman allowing his lady to taste first.  And being a lady – a sophisticated, elegant, intelligent lady – she sprayed some directly into her mouth, declaring (and I quote): “This shit is not good, it tastes like shaving cream!”  I had to disagree, but only slightly.  Let me explain: I have been shaving my face for more than a few years.  And I have accidentally tasted actual shaving cream on an unfortunate occasion or two.  To me, the whipped cream tasted more like raw grain alcohol – bitter, metallic, and undeniably boozy – coupled with a faint, unsweetened vanilla aftertaste; shaving cream tastes better.  The flavor combination made me wince and stick out my tongue.  If this had been a cartoon, a large “BLECH!” speech bubble would have hovered over my head.

Instead of eating it straight from the can, we next tried it on top of a piece of cake: perhaps, we thought, it would taste better actually served with dessert.  Maybe the cake’s sweetness would mask the cream’s raw, harsh taste.  So we added a little bit to the cake; alas, it did not.  Instead, the cream contaminated the cake’s flavor, creating a squishy pile of boozy, bitter dessert – not how I would choose to end any meal.

CREAM turned out to be a bust, a good idea that failed to deliver.  Results aside, the experiment was nonetheless an entertaining affair.  The cream was bad, but not so bad as to throw away a nearly full can.  I just might have to explore more creative ways of using it.

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Published in: on June 10, 2011 at 9:41 am  Comments (6)  
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6 Comments

  1. WOW!!! That is a story just as I expected it to go; even with your elegant lady’s behavior! My lady and I laughed our butts off through the whole blog! Wonderfully hillarious!! Thanks again for the morning comic relief; especially good after a sleepless night!! More stories like this would be welcomed!! Cheers eh!

    • You know how I like to keep it classy at all times! 🙂

  2. Hilarious! Perhaps a “Top 10 Uses for Cream” list (other than ingestion of course) is in order.

    • A great idea G-Lo!

      • Thanks THF! Just trying to help. 🙂

  3. Ha, ha! I loved your wife’s comments! I’ll forgo the “worse than shaving cream” taste and stick with a good beer! 😉


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