New Rules for Modern Drinking

You're doing it wrong...

A few weeks ago, Washington Post movie critic Ann Hornaday wrote an article titled, Of manners, movies, and the sorry state of spectatorship.

In it, Hornaday argued that “the cinema today is in a crisis… the worst isn’t necessarily always on or behind the screen. In fact, a distressing proportion of it is coming from an audience in apparent need of tutoring, not only in how to behave in a movie theater, but in managing its own aesthetic expectations.”

To support this statement, she identified five “new rules for the modern moviegoer:”

1. Turn off your phone.  That means texting too.  Seriously.
2. Open your mind. You’re a connoisseur, not just a consumer.
3. A ticket buys the right to watch a movie, not to like it.  No refunds if you don’t.
4. There may be nudity. A man may be sawing his arm off. You were warned.
5. Trash or masterpiece? It’s subjective. Shrug and move on.

While several of the aforementioned are in fact directly applicable to the world of bars and boozing, the article made me think – certainly each of us has experienced or witnessed bar behavior that could be construed as annoying, entitled, or simply downright rude.

So I’ve devised five New Rules for the Modern Drinker, rules that, like Hornaday’s, will provide a little tutoring in managing unreasonable expectations, a sense of entitlement, and ultimately minimizing the potential frustration you might wreak on your fellow patrons and barmates.

1. Have a little patience.  The bartender exists to serves all, not just you.
2. Put away your pretention. Knowledge is grand, but humility is better.
3. Courtesy wins you friends and maybe a buyback.  Ladies, please don’t take advantage.
4. Sip, savor, repeat.  It’s a marathon, not a sprint – no one likes hanging out with That Guy.
5. There may be nudity.  Leave your judgment and cameraphone at home.

That’s my list.  Now I ask you, readers – what other rules might you add?  What are your greatest frustrations from your fellow drinkers?

Published in: on February 29, 2012 at 7:15 pm  Comments (1)  
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